Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Klepto Mom goes shopping

Klepto Mom is not happy with our school.

Apparently she's so unhappy that we suspended her precious little boy for stealing that she called The Central Office to talk to The Principal's Boss about her dissatisfaction. I don't know what came of that phone call, but knowing The Principal she had her ducks in a row and all is fine and good.

And then Klepto Mom called and made an appointment to see Guidance Guy and The Principal this morning.

On an aside, Guidance Guy, a confirmed Starbucks Junkie, has given up caffeine. We have rewarded him this week, and today in particular, by making sure that all of our crazy students and their crazy parents just had to come see him to cause him stress. And the sad thing is, we really like Guidance Guy. Can you imagine what we'd do if we didn't?

So, Guidance Guy gets the scoop from us, has the files in front of him and talks with mom who is still very upset about the fact that her son keeps getting in trouble for stealing pencils and pens. (She neglects to mention that he doesn't always take things he supposedly needs, like a pencil, but also takes things he simply wants, like candy and staples he can use to shoot people with.) She is under the impression that his problem is simply that he is ADHD and is forgetful and he's too embarrassed to ask his teachers for a pencil or pen.

Huh? Are we talking about the same kid here?

Klepto Boy has never, in the year I've had him, ever seemed even remotely embarrassed by anything he does, including his daily requests for a pencil, paper, tissue, eraser, etc. In fact, the more chances he has to come up to the teacher's desk to yabber at us, the happier he is. He would stand there all day talking nonsense if we didn't shoo him back to his seat.


She does, finally, admit that Klepto Boy does have a problem taking things that don't belong to him. However, she objects to the terms stealing and theft.

Let me see if I have this right. He does take things, without asking, from other people, things that don't belong to him, but it's not stealing and it's not theft?

I can't wait for her to try that one out the first time Klepto Boy is in front of a judge.

The Principal still asserted that, according to the definition in the School Board Rules, it's theft. Guidance Guy then got the fun of smoothing Klepto Mom's feathers down and agreeing to a warm fuzzy educational plan whereby Klepto Boy would get all sorts of special accomodations made to meet his special needs (things most of us are already doing anyway).

And then she brought out the shopping bag chock full of pencils, pens, and paper. The idea is that Klepto Boy will have his very own special stash of school supplies in each classroom (since apparently he's too immature to keep things in his locker and fetch them when needed - I can only imagine how this will go over when he's in high school and she's still babying him.) The Guidance Goddess organized these supplies on a table in guidance and I about fell over when I saw the pile of supplies she put there - there must be 4 dozen pencils along with a cup holding about 2 dozen pens.

For each class.

For 17 and a half days left of school.

That means he can burn through about 4 pencils per period.

However, apparently the idea is that there's so many supplies that Klepto Boy will never run out, and he can even hand out extra pencils and pens to his friends and experience the joy of giving rather than taking. Wonderful idea, if it works.

I hope Klepto Mom has a discount card at Office Depot.

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