Hello...and Goodbye

The Guidance Diva the other day made a very astute comment..."They can throw billions of dollars at schools for education but it won't do a bit of good until they fix what's going on out there."  "Out There," being the neighborhood, the culture where education isn't respected or desired, the culture where working isn't a goal because drawing a welfare check pays better, a culture invested with drugs, gangs, abuse, and alcoholism.  A culture where parents aren't being parents.

And where they hang up on the teacher who is trying to call them about their kid.  (Yup, happened again today).

In any case, it never ceases to amaze me how people don't seem to have a clue about the types of kids we see every day and how amazingly screwed up their lives are, mainly due to the grown ups in their lives who aren't acting like grown ups.

Case in point.

We got a new kid this week (part of the seventh grade infestation) who came from outside our county.  Seemed like a nice kid (although we had to have a conversation about sagging).  Didn't say anything, got to work, said "Yes, Ma'am" and all that.  No problems with him at all.

The second day he was here, Mr. Enforcer strolled into Mrs. Reading's class and asked to have him pointed out.  Apparently some of his records were catching up with him, and Mr. Enforcer wanted to be able to recognize this kid should his name cross his desk.

This is not a good sign.

The next morning New Kid was absent from my homeroom.  Mrs. Reading came in after the kids went to their elective classes and told me that The Principal had ran into her in the hallway and mentioned that the New Kid wasn't going to be coming back.  Apparently more of his records had arrived the day before and The Enforcer brought them to The Principal's attention.

And what they saw apparently scared the living daylights out of both of them.  As The Principal put it, "It made me sick to read."

Again, not a good sign.

So he's gone.  No one is really saying much, but he was a kid in foster care.  The Principal took one look at his file and realized that this kid had emotional issues and problems too big (and too scary) to keep him in school with our student population.  She called the foster parents (who had no clue about any of this apparently which is just wrong) and informed them that due to his issues that she was going to get him placed in a nearby school that serves severely emotionally disturbed students.  I hope she succeeds in this and that he gets the counseling and care he needs.

But really it all comes down to this.  The kid is twelve.  Twelve!  And his life is already so screwed up by the grown ups in his life that he's considered a threat to the normal school population.  He has been, according to The Enforcer, "completely let down on every level by every grown up in his life."

I wish people who had no business or desire to be parents just stopped breeding.

Waking Up Rip Van Winkle

There are times I really truly wonder if anyone is raising my kids.

We have a student this year whom I really truly like. A lot. He's a neat kid. He came to us the second nine weeks, and to say he has issues is putting it mildly. This kid probably has racked up more frequent flyer miles moving from relative to relative than most business people do in a decade of business travel. He is now, for the first time in his life, living with his biological mother.

When he first arrived on our team he tended to just wander off - he'd even leave the building and we'd get a call from the gas station mini mart across the street reporting that they had one of our kids. He also tends to not go to class and just would wander aimlessly through the halls until someone snatched him up. He has severe crying jags in class (and ends up in guidance), has days where he's shaking so hard we think he's about ready to have a seizure (and ends up in guidance), days where he swears he's sick and has to go to the nurse (she sends him back as mom won't come get him and he doesn't have a fever.) He does absolutely no work at all and will do anything to get out of class. He comes from a family with a history of addictions and I fear he's developing a few of his own, including a fairly serious addiction to video games. The only thing he's even remotely interested in is World of Warcraft.

His mother says he's perfectly normal at home and she can't figure out why we're having issues with him at school. Although she does agree that he plays way too many video games.

Whatever.

We've noticed that the past few weeks (when we're in school, that is and not on another flipping snow day) that he's exhausted. He cannot stay awake. If he doesn't have his head down on his desk, he's zoned out staring straight ahead in a nearly catatonic state. We had a snow day on Monday and he arrived Tuesday and was a complete mess. He said he'd figured we'd have another snow day on Tuesday so he stayed up all night. Today was even worse (and it didn't snow so he didn't have that excuse). He could not stay awake. The bell would ring for class changes and he'd be out cold. It was so bad that the other kids started teasing him about it. He nearly missed lunch and nearly missed his bus.

So where on earth is the parent? Why is Sleepy Boy allowed to stay up all night, mostly likely playing video games? Is his mother home? Is she even aware? Kids this age need sleep - a lot of it - and this kid is getting none, outside of what he's getting in our classes.

I've turned the issue over to Mr. Enforcer and Guidance. Perhaps they can get to the root of the problem here.

He's Baaaaack!

I was cruising through Guidance the other day (it is, after all on the way to the bathrooms and mailboxes) when the Guidance Goddess flagged me down.

"Mr. History is going to want to talk to you," she said. "Bully Boy is back."

This stopped me in my tracks.

"He's back?" I asked, although it didn't surprise me. I figured he'd come bouncing back one of these days, I just prayed it would be after he'd done his time in seventh grade and wasn't my potential problem anymore. After all, he'd bounced back twice last year.

"Yes, he enrolled yesterday. He's apparently now living with Dad and Dad's girlfriend."

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows at this one. "So now Dad wants him?"

"Apparently so. Dad's Girlfriend has a daughter in 8th grade as well, and from what I can tell, this girlfriend has managed to put a foot up his ass. Which he needed. However, Mr. History will still want to talk to you."

He better. This kid is a holy terror.

Some of my former students, now 8th graders, managed to come by and fill me in with this joyful news later on in the day. They were less than thrilled. This kid is so mean, and so hateful, that even the other bullies can't stand him. The 8th grade populace was not happy to see this one bounce back among their midst.

Unless Bully Boy has been completely reformed (doubtful) Mr. History and his 8th grade team are in for a quite a journey.

And just remembering some of his stunts is starting to give me hives.

Take Care of Your Kid, Already

Every day my fifth period class comes into my room, puts their things down on the tables, and then we line up to go to lunch. And every day Lunch Boy is standing at the head of the line, and just a bit to the side because his job (for some reason) is to "walk with Mrs. Bluebird."

I'm not sure where this comes from. In the past (last year comes to mind when I had the Lunch Group From the Very Depths of Hell Itself) I've used the "walking with teacher" bit as a way to control a kid who can't control himself or herself in line. It's either shape up or walk with Mrs. Bluebird. It usually works. For some reason, this year Lunch Boy has decided that he needs to walk with me, and not with the class, on the way to lunch. I think, honestly, that he wants a grown up to talk to.

Because his parents don't give him one bit of attention. At all.

Our conversations usually run like this.

"How's your day been?" I'll ask him.

"Oh okay," he'll say. And he'll mention something that happened in math or some gossip about some other kids (I learn a lot from this kid).

I'll then ask about lunch. "So, you have money in your lunch account?"

"No, not today. I asked them (them being his parents) for money last night and they forgot again."

"So, what are you planning on eating?" I'll ask. "Did you pack anything?"

"Oh, probably nothing," he'll say again. "Mom won't make me a lunch." At this point I'll remind him that we have crackers and apples for the kids with no money or lunch and all he has to do is ask the lunchroom aides for help and they'll take him aside and at least give him a piece of fruit.

This is a daily ritual with us. He never has lunch money in his account. He currently owes $9 in charges on his account and has been cut off by the cafeteria management. We have sent home several forms to request free and reduced lunch and although Lunch Boy says they've been returned, no one has any record of them ever coming back. (We doubt they've been returned. In fact, we doubt they've been filled out. We suspect that the family may not qualify.) Mr. Math, his homeroom teacher, has called and left message after message about the fact that Lunch Boy is not eating lunch and needs money in his account, and has never, ever received a return phone call.

And the Lunch Boy will make comments about his mom playing video games. "Oh Mom was busy playing World of Warcraft again yesterday," he'll say. "She's too busy playing on the computer to give me lunch money."

I am so sick and tired of this nonsense. It is absolutely ridiculous that this kid is going hungry. If his parents can't afford to feed him, there's a program out there to make sure he's fed. In fact, none of our children in school should be going hungry. So really there's no excuse for the fact that every day this kid is not eating lunch (and goodness knows about breakfast).

If the reason he isn't eating lunch is because mom and day are too busy playing video games, then that's just insane. And irresponsible. And just downright beyond belief.

But part of me is thinking that it just might be the truth.

For Those Trying to Work the System

Just a little advice here.

When you come down to your kids' school to see about getting on the list to receive the care packages we put together for Christmas, it's not really smart to drive up to the school in a car that's nicer than those owned by most of the staff and the administration in the building. Yeah, we know you're really proud of that gleaming 2009 SUV, but when the teachers are driving cars that are at least ten years old, it's not really cool. Granted, you may have gotten it with drug money (I mean, who's to say?) but still...be cool. Walk to the school. Or take the bus. But don't flash around in your Escalade.

And another thing. We know you're really attached to that snazzy little bluetooth thing wired into your head, but since you're there to ask for free food for your kids because you can't possibly feed them, you may want to consider leaving all your electronic toys at home. Tuck that nice little iPod out of sight, unplug the damn earbuds from your ear, and for heaven's sake, stop the texting while the ladies in guidance are trying to help you. It's rude.

And then there's the clothes. Remember, you're here to ask for free food and clothes for your kids, because you can't possibly afford to feed and clothe them yourself, so it's a good idea to dress modestly. That means leaving the designer jackets and tennis shoes at home. And ladies, let's try to keep our bosoms covered up - this is your kid's school, not a try out for a Shakira video, so we don't need to be seeing your boobs. Especially when they're covered with about $1,000 worth of tattoos. Come to think, make sure you remove all those piercings and cover up those pricey tattoos so we don't really find out what your spend your money on.

I'm just saying...

Old Habits are Hard to Break

Yesterday I took a quick glance at my email and saw one from the Guidance Goddess with the subject line of "Bully Boy".

Uh-oh.

I opened it up. All it said was "He's back!"

Oh crap.

I quickly forwarded it to The Team and they pretty much had the same response. Bully Boy was, to be honest, responsible for about 25% of the discipline referrals on our team, and with him gone, things were a lot calmer. Amazing how one kid can really stir the pot.

But he was back. And usually when a kid returns, he's put back on the same team with the same schedule. Figures. Just when my Fifth Period was actually getting somewhat sane and they were able to sit through an entire class period without a ruckus.

So, during lunch, Mrs. Social Studies, Ms. Language and I went to find out what was going on and to beg, if need be, that he be put on another team. He was back, with mom, and they were both living with grandma. Apparently they had been tossed out of their apartment in the nearby city (I'm not sure where the information came from but the words "meth use" or "meth manufacture" were mentioned and neither would surprise me considering his parents' history). And, surprisingly, Mr. Enforcer actually did put him on another team. His idea was that Bully Boy had pretty much tormented every kid in our area of the school and putting him on a team that was in a more enclosed area, like Mr. Social Studies and Mrs. Bunny's team, would be ideal. It could be watched more closely.

We groveled at Mr. Enforcer's feet and praised him to the heavens for this wise act.

We then informed his new team not to worry, it would only be a matter of time before he'd be in ISS or suspended. We did warn them to keep their eyes on him at all times (remember, he's a thrower) and to make sure he is nowhere near smaller kids or sped kids. We also warned them that lunch could be an issue as he likes to mess with kids then, as well, especially with slaps to the back of the head. Obviously, this team was less than thrilled. However, considering that our team is leading the entire school with discipline referrals and seats in alternative school, it's time to spread the wealth around.

So today, twenty-four hours later, we are walking our kids back from lunch and as we go by Mr. Enforcer's office (which is right smack in the middle of our team area), we see, of all people, Bully Boy sitting in his office.

Amazing! It only took a day and a half before he'd landed in trouble.

He apparently decided to pick on one of their smaller, and I mean small kids, a little thing who may weigh sixty pounds if he's lucky. It happened at lunch and the end result is he got mad at the Little Tyke, and smashed his hand on the table. Mr. Duck and I saw the videotape (amazing how Bully Boy always gets into trouble right in front of a camera) and it's the same mean kid I knew from before. He even has the same mannerisms of looking all around him for an authority figure to make sure they aren't watching before he launches his attacks. Apparently he keeps forgetting about the cameras that keep filming his misdeeds.

Of course Mr. Enforcer couldn't get a hold of a parent or adult at any of the phone numbers listed on the emergency card to inform them that he'd be in ISS for five days.

Some things never change.

Things You Wish You Hadn't Heard

Mrs. Math relates the following conversation she had with one of our students, Quiet Girl, while she was checking agendas this week.

"Quiet Girl, you really need to make sure your mother checks and signs your agenda every night," says Mrs. Math. "You mother didn't sign it for the Friday before Fall Break."

"I know," says Quiet Girl with her eyes downcast. "I'm sorry, but mom spent the entire break drunk so I couldn't get her to sign it."

"Oh," says Mrs. Math.

Sigh.

Disappearing Act

Scratchy had a very bad Tuesday.

He arrived mad because kids were yelling on the bus. We've noticed that he has issues with noise, which isn't surprising considering this is a kid who also hears voices in his head. During First Period he got mad at the kids that sat near him. During Second Period he again showed his intolerance for noise by screaming at the kids in social studies class to "Shut Up! Be Quiet!". He didn't have too much trouble in my class, although he did a lot of squirming, pencil tapping, wiggling, and scratching. (His legs are covered with scabs and bites.) After lunch he got mad at kids in his Fourth period and yelled at them. By this time Mrs. Math could see that he was rapidly reaching his breaking point and sent him to see the Guidance Mom.

Guidance Mom had him write down what was bothering him, which he did. He also drew a picture of how he felt. The picture was of a huge head with fire and flames coming out of the top and the words "explode!" written across the bottom. If that wasn't enough he proceeded to tear apart the stress ball that the Guidance Mom has had for years. He completely shredded it, pulled the stuffing out, and tore every piece apart. Hundreds of kids have used that ball to relieve stress and anxiety and he's the only one who managed to completely destroy it. She kept the pieces to add to the growing pile of documentation we have on this kid who so badly needs to get tested and identified as emotionally disturbed so he can receive some help!

On Wednesday he did not come to school.

On Wednesday afternoon his mother's boyfriend, who Scratchy and Mom were living with (he's also the parent of another student at our school), called Guidance Mom to let her know that he was concerned about Scratchy because he and Scratchy Mom had had a huge fight and she had packed and moved out, taking Scratchy with her. Guidance Mom, who had been trying for three weeks to get his mother to call us to set up a meeting, asked if he had any forwarding information (especially since the cell number she gave us was his). He said that she had another "friend" a county or so away and may be there. That was it.

He was absent again today.

We probably won't even get a phone call from Mom to withdraw him and will have to wait for another school to contact us for records to find out where he ended up. That school will be his fourth school this year. And, like us, they'll have to go through all the hoops before he can get tested and, most likely, Mom will be off with another boyfriend and he'll be whisked off to another school before his testing happens. And on the cycle goes. He will not get help.

Unless something drastic happens.

And that scares me like you wouldn't believe.


Friday Update: As we suspected, Mom didn't bother to withdraw Scratchy, but showed up at his new school and tried to enroll him. She was apparently royally *pissed* that she actually had to follow the rules in regards to paperwork. Fortunately he is still in the district, so Guidance Mom is going to call over there on Monday and give the guidance folks at his new school the head's up and see if she can get them to test him ASAP without going through all the paperwork B.S. Hopefully this will happen and he will be able to get the help he so desperately needs.