Friday, December 06, 2013

Assault With a - Potentially - Deadly Weapon

Honestly, people who don't work in a school have no idea as to the absolutely crazy shit that goes on with these kids during the day.  Seriously.

For example, this week we had three sixth grade boys decide to pee on each other.  Really.  You cannot make this stuff up.  Of course, that irritated one of the victims, who promptly threw a punch towards the kid peeing on him.  Which is completely understandable. 

(I checked.  None of these were my kids.  Thank God.)

I guess it was apparently quite hysterical to watch these three boys explain to four grown men, our SRO, The Enforcer, and two coaches, what, exactly prompted them to act like such idiots.

The SRO explained to them that he could charge them with assault because they could unknowingly infect another person with a horrifying and deadly disease by peeing on them.  This did, apparently, finally get their attention.

The only question remaining, said the SRO, was whether we charge them with a weapon over, or under three inches.

*The three inch measure is what our law uses to guide the punishment for a knife at school.

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