Friday, November 19, 2010

Was This The Week that the Seventh Grade Went Insane?

According to The Enforcer, the bottom has dropped out of the Seventh Grade.

It started on Wednesday.  

It didn't get much better on Thursday.  Mrs. Eagle had two boys get in a fight in front of school (busted up by a parent who brought the two offenders into the front office while we were at a faculty meeting).  A few more seventh graders were suspended and put into in-school-suspension as a continuation of the "pulling down the pants" incident in the locker room.  Stroll Boy got in trouble at lunch and was still raging mad by the time he landed in my room, threw his books across the room, slammed his chair into the table, pouted and refused to take his test.  I bounced him to The Enforcer's Office for that stunt.  (Need to make another call to The Hood to get The Big Dude From the Hood back down for a visit, I believe.)

Today wasn't much better.  Again, we had boys messing around throwing binders at each other (and then getting mad at each other because it's not funny when it's YOUR binder) so that got some action.  Another gets called up to the front office for a chewing out by his mother because he hasn't turned in a single assignment this year, comes back to class - mad - and slams his chair into the table, throws his books around,  pouts, sulks, refuses to take his test (does this sound familiar?) and off to Guidance he goes.  

But my favorite was the kid who decided to take off his pants in the middle of class.

Seriously.  At least I hope that's what he was doing.

To backtrack, Pants Boy is a big kid.  In fact, he could pass for a high schooler, but he's really not all that mature.  (We have a large collection of boys who just melt down and act like 8-year-olds when they get in trouble - this is one of them.)  In any case, before class he asks to go see the Guidance Dude.  I tell him that's fine, I'll put in a guidance referral and when the Guidance Dude is free, he'll call for him.  (This is an in-house program one of our more techy teachers developed for us to track guidance issues - it's wonderful.)  Pants Boy takes his test and then asks if he can go see Guidance Dude.  I explain - again - that we don't know if Guidance Dude is free, so he'll have to wait until he calls for him.  He doesn't look happy, and goes back to his seat to read his book.

Now, I have a clear view of him from where my teacher station is, and a few minutes later, after walking around the room, checking on the kids as they're taking their tests, I come back to my computer to check something, look up and see Pants Boy trying to wiggle out of his pants!

His belt is undone and hanging down, his shirt is untucked, his pants are unzipped, and his hands are moving and he's squirming a bit.  At this point, I'm hoping that all he's doing is trying to get out of his pants and he's not working on getting in some private entertainment before the bell rings!  

"What on earth are you doing?" I snap at him, loudly, and he stops and looks up

"I have shorts on!" he responds.

Shorts?  Undershorts?  Basketball shorts?  I don't care what freaking shorts he has on, YOU DO NOT TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF IN SCIENCE CLASS!

By now, the kids are all looking at him, their mouths agape, and some of them are so embarrassed that they're ducking down behind their privacy folders, rapidly working on their tests.  I go over to Pants Boy who is still sitting there with his pants all undone and hiss at him that he better get himself arranged, pull his pants up and get himself put together or I'd make things even worse for him.  

Of course that got a write-up, although it took me a few minutes to figure out how to categorize it on the Administrative Referral form.  Dress Code?  (We must wear pants to school.)  Disobedience?  Well, I never had a class rule that said "must wear pants".  I finally decided on lewd and lascivious conduct, because, after all, YOU DO NOT TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF IN SCIENCE CLASS!

I swear, I need a sign for my class room that has these four words:  WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?


Jessie said...

Mrs. Bluebird, you had me laughing my face off. This EXACT situation happened to me last year, and I thought I was the only one to have a BIG kid take his pants off in math class. I even had the same response from him, that "You never told us we couldn't!"

Thank you for documenting your days so that the rest of us don't feel so alone.

Ms. Math

Kristen said...

Oh my! I have never been happier that I taught first grade after reading your post! I can barely handle the 5th graders at recess, and that's just for 20 minutes. All day? Not a chance. I don't know how you do it, but I am glad there are teachers out there who do! Maybe things will get better after vacations?!?!?!?! said...

I don't know what your problem is! Can't we change clothes in class? Can't we pluck our eyebrows during class? Eat our lunch? Paint our fingernails? You're just making life hard on these poor kids.

Darren said...

I joke with my students sometimes when they commit heinous violations of rules--like chewing gum or something:

What were you thinking? You weren't thinking. You weren't thinking.

They know what's coming now, and sometimes they'll even participate:

What were you thinking?
I wasn't thinking.
You weren't thinking.

Haven't had anyone try to depants himself in my classes yet, although some guys still haven't figured out that the wearing of pants down below the butt went out of style about 5 years ago.

Rebecca D said...

After about 3 years teaching 7th, I realized that when you ask a kid (usually a boy),

"What were you thinking?!"

and they say,

"I don't know."

They're (usually) not being smart with me. . . .

They truly don't know. Or they weren't actually thinking anything.

Dan Edwards said...

And WHAT will tomorrow bring? Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy some sane time away from your school !

Linney said...

LOVE the idea of your sign, but, yeah, I gotta agree - they actually AREN'T thinking. Sad, but true.

-- Linda
middle school 7th & 8th gr. Science teacher - Michigan