Friday, November 23, 2007

The Anti-Shopper

I was born, apparently, without the shopping gene.

My mother loves to shop. Part of my annual Mother Visit to California is at least one day of shopping which I tolerate because it is, after all, only one day and Mom has much better taste than I do and I usually end up looking much better dressed after these visits. However, it still nearly gives me hives. Mother, however, is very good and always make sure we get to one yarn shop so I can get my patience back.

My cousins love to shop. They're the ones who plan and organize and scheme and get up at oh-dark-thirty to get out there and be VERY FIRST IN LINE on Black Friday. They love it. They love the excitement. They love the crowds. They love the fact that they may have actually found a deal. I would rather put a knitting needle in my eye.

I think of Black Friday as looking into the very depths of hell itself.

Which is why I about swerved off the road yesterday afternoon as we drove by the local Best Buy store and saw people pitching tents on the sidewalk outside the store.

Pitching Tents!

I can think of about a million and one things I'd rather do than sleep outside on a sidewalk in front of a store just so I can get up and be first in line to buy something. There are only two types of stores I even enjoy shopping in, book stores and yarn shops, and even then I wouldn't be camping out just to get a crack at catching alpaca yarn on sale.

My idea of shopping is to sit in bed, in my jammies, and flip through catalogs, make my choices, and then go online and buy it. I was catalog shopping before the internet, and so it was a natural progression for me to move to online shopping. It's perfect for me. No crowds. I can do it with a cat on my lap. I can take my time, enjoy a class of wine, and look for deals, all the while snuggled in my jammies. It is perfect. And I love the idea of coming home from work and finding a box on my porch.

So today I'm not going anywhere near a mall. I'm going to sit in my chair, knit, snuggle with my cats. The rest of you can do the shopping for me.


Darren said...

Usually I'm mostly done with shopping by this time, so I can go to the malls and just enjoy the spirit without the pressure of having to buy anything. Not so this year, as I didn't do much buying throughout the year.

Darn it.

Anonymous said...

Me too, I don't give a hoot about shopping but my mother...

CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

I so agree with you! My shopping is usually limited to finding bargains in used merchandise!

ms. whatsit said...

I loathe shopping, much to my mother's chagrin. I won't go to the mall again until well into 2008.

"Ms. Cornelius" said...

I hate shopping too. I have been told I shop like a guy: Have objective-go in-go out-go home.

Unless it's a book store.........