Saturday, February 08, 2014

If You Don't Do Your Assignment You Will Die!

My sixth period is a really small class.  So small, in fact, that it almost seems as if we are just hanging out, doing science, and relaxing.  They all pretty much get along, which is unusual, and seem to enjoy each other.  The conversations between them can be quite entertaining.  

Yesterday the kids were working on posters about the carbon cycle.  Big Huge Boy, who is about 6'4" tall and who does NOTHING and freely admits he's just lazy and doesn't care, made a comment that he didn't want to do the assignment.  He often chooses to not do assignments, which is why he has grades in the 20's.  Calling home is pointless because the parents, who have a history of drug addiction, can't get it together enough to parent.  Staying clean is their focus.

I made the comment that I didn't want to do my taxes either, but I did them.  There are just some things in life you do, regardless if you want to do them or not.  

"Yeah, but I still don't want to so it," he whined.

That is when Super Boy (funny, cool, popular gifted kid obsessed with super heroes) stepped in.

 "If you don't do your assignment, you will get a zero.  If you get a zero, you fail.  If you fail seventh grade, you go to summer school.  If you go to summer school, you will get depressed because you don't get a summer.  When you get depressed about not having a summer you drop out of school.  When you drop out of school, your parents kick you out.  When your parents kick you out you have to live in a ditch.  When you live in a ditch you get even more depressed.  When you get even more depressed, you cut your wrists.  When you cut your wrists you will die!  So if you don't do your assignment you are going to DIE!"

At this point there is complete and absolute silence in the room and every kid is looking at Super Boy in awe.  Big Huge Boy is looking shocked with his mouth hanging open.  

"Wow," said Auburn Boy.  "That was impressive."

And then we all started laughing.  What I would have given for a video of that moment!




3 comments:

Jennifer said...

Oh, my - where's the like button? Sounds like you've got some great kids!

Chapati said...

That is BRILLIANT!
Did it work? :)

The Bus Driver said...

hahahahahaha!!!!!! that.. is.... priceless!!!