Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Miley They Just Aren't Into You

One of my homeroom girls showed up today sporting a new "Miley Cyrus"-style haircut.  She's a bit of a rebel and trying to be a bit of a trend-setter, so it wasn't that surprising.

What was surprising was the response from the rest of the kids.

They HATED it.  Absolutely hated it.  Choruses of "Oh My God, what did you do?" along with "Are you trying to look like Miley, she's so gross," were some of the nicer comments.  It got so bad I told them to hush and if they didn't have anything nice to say then just to keep quiet.  Haircut girl didn't seem to mind (she's a bit of snot anyway and can dish out as much as she gets) but I wasn't going to put up with that nonsense.

However, one of the kids said they thought that Haircut girl actually looked kind of cute in that haircut, which was surprising because "Miley is such an ugly dog but you look cute in it."  Choruses of agreement abounded. It was then that I decided to do an impromptu survey.

"How many of you like Miley Cyrus?" I asked.  Not a hand went up.  Not one.

"How many of you can't stand her?" was my second question.  Every hand went up.

"So how come you don't like her?" I asked them and was hit with a bunch of comments regarding her acting slutty, sticking her tongue out, trying to act cool but really coming off as pathetic (a word I was impressed this bunch used) and so on.  A few admitted that her behavior rather "grossed me out".  So, if my homeroom is any indication, she's really falling flat with the 12-14 year old demographic.

Which is surprising, because the media has you think she's quite popular with this group.  Perhaps they think she is.  However, a few minutes with my homeroom kids will let you know that she's definitely not.

You learn something new every day.

Friday, December 06, 2013

Assault With a - Potentially - Deadly Weapon

Honestly, people who don't work in a school have no idea as to the absolutely crazy shit that goes on with these kids during the day.  Seriously.

For example, this week we had three sixth grade boys decide to pee on each other.  Really.  You cannot make this stuff up.  Of course, that irritated one of the victims, who promptly threw a punch towards the kid peeing on him.  Which is completely understandable. 

(I checked.  None of these were my kids.  Thank God.)

I guess it was apparently quite hysterical to watch these three boys explain to four grown men, our SRO, The Enforcer, and two coaches, what, exactly prompted them to act like such idiots.

The SRO explained to them that he could charge them with assault because they could unknowingly infect another person with a horrifying and deadly disease by peeing on them.  This did, apparently, finally get their attention.

The only question remaining, said the SRO, was whether we charge them with a weapon over, or under three inches.

*The three inch measure is what our law uses to guide the punishment for a knife at school.

First Snow Day!

Well, more like a ice day.  I'm on my third cup of coffee watching the ice build up on my deck and trees in my yard.

Hoping we don't lose power.

Fortunately they called for the schools to be closed last night, rather than wait until morning, which was nice of them.  Those of us who grace the school hallways at oh-dark-thirty every day often have the unpleasant experience of actually already being at school before they cancel for the day.  That sucks.

So I have a full tank of gas in my car, the cell phone is on the charger, the Kindle is charged, the heater is running to warm up the house, and I'm ready if we lose power.

At least I know how to make coffee on a grill, if it comes to that.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

A Buzz Worthy Lunch

A few weeks ago, on a surprisingly cold day, the rest if the seventh grade teachers and I were in the teacher lunchroom (right next to the cafeteria) enjoying our all too brief 30 minute duty free lunch.  It was a typical lunch until the double door slammed open and in ran Mrs. Cheerful, one of our aides who has the horrid duty of helping with seventh grade lunch.  

"I need an administrator here fast!" She shrieked as she dialed the front office.  Now that the door was open we could hear a huge commotion coming from the cafeteria.  That usually signals a fight, so within a flash, all of us in the middle of our lunch ran into the lunchroom to restore order and break up what sounded like a doozy of a brawl.

Except when we got there, we didn't see any kids fighting.  

What we did see were a number of kids screaming and running up and down the aisles between the tables, and other kids throwing food into the air.  They weren't throwing the food at other tables of kids but rather up into the air.  This was weird.  They usually aim at other kids when they start flinging food.

I happened to be standing by The Monitor (the other adult in there trying to keep 300 kids fed and in control every lunch period) and heard her say "I can't believe all this over a wasp."

A wasp?  Yes, a wasp.

It took a moment but I finally saw the wasp buzzing around one of the tables which was sending the girls, and some boys, into fits.  Some of the boys were throwing food at it, which only made the wasp madder and caused him to buzz and dive bomb the tables.  Which caused more hysteria.

Good gracious, this generation needs to get outside more so they can learn to deal with things like insects without going into hysterics. 

We finally got them calmed down, sat them back in their seats, and convinced them that throwing things at wasps doesn't improve their mood.  At all.  Honestly, I felt sorry for the wasp at this point.

What's really weird is that the wasps have had a nest somewhere near the cafeteria for several weeks now, and that wasps have been showing up at lunch all that time.  However, apparently both the 8th grade and the 6th grade kids don't lose their minds when they see a wasp.  Just the 7th grade kids do.

Which tells you a lot about the character traits of seventh graders.